"Adulting" Isn't Hard.

Inspirational quotes seem to have gone the way of the dodo and have been replaced by complaints about how hard "adulting" is. If you were watching me type this you'd see the squiggly red lines under "adulting" because it's not a goddamned word.

Ignoring my desire to rant about how annoying it is when people turn nouns into verbs, I can't help but wonder how being an adult is so hard for all of you.

The complaints aren't about legitimate things like "omg the coal mine was so hot today" or "today was the fifth day in a row that rabid okapis savaged my village" or even "my dog ate my cat."

It's "I have a kid to take care of?!? When did this happen?!? I'm still a kid and I'm supposed to take care of ANOTHER kid? And I have to PAY BILLS? OMG mailing envelopes is hard AF!!!"

Shut up. You don't even have to mail envelopes anymore. 

The actual process of being an adult is easier now than it's ever been. You can do the vast majority of your paperwork online and likewise find pretty much any information you could ever want in five seconds' time.

When I first became a parent I had my moments of "what the hell do I do with this thing?" Everyone does. In days gone by you'd guess and end up giving your kid malaria or whatever. Oops.
Now you can just do a quick Google search for whatever color fluids are spewing from your kid's body and you don't even have to go to a doctor.

"BUT I HAVE TO GET UP AND GO TO WORK EVERY DAY AND DO STUFF!"

Did you not have a job before you got out of college? Even if you didn't, grades K-12 are basically your job until you graduate high school. You've had to get up on time Monday through Friday every day since you were five. Why's it a challenge now?

You can try arguing that it's for humor's sake but I don't believe that people are posting this crap without on some level believing it.

What happened? Are we a generation raised by overbearing helicopter parents and now we can't handle simple stuff like getting up on time in the morning and paying an electric bill without them standing over us telling us how to do it?

At best it's inaccurate. Raising kids isn't hard at all. It's pretty simple to make sure they don't die. Raising them well is a bit harder, but honestly everyone blows that out of proportion too. 

Similarly, going through the grind of being an adult isn't hard, it just sucks. It's like saying "Walking 1000 miles is hard." Well, no, it really isn't because you're doing it a bit at a time. It just takes a long time and your feet are going to hurt.

At this point you're probably wondering why this bugs me so much.
The problem isn't that people are complaining, it's the implication that this isn't fair. It isn't fair that life has been thrust upon them and they have to do stuff. It isn't fair that they have student loans to pay. It isn't fair that they have to raise kids who are so poorly behaved. It isn't fair that they're fat.

Who forced you to go to college?
Who applied for that job you hate so much?
Who forced you to have kids? 
Who raised your kids to be such shitheads?
Who bought that car that you're lamenting having to make payments on?
Who keeps jamming donuts into your mouth?

All of the "adulting is hard" memes are rooted in our unwillingness to take responsibility for how our lives have turned out.
Yeah, sometimes you get dealt a shitty hand, but for the most part if your life sucks it's because of the choices you've made.
You did this. You raised your kids to be assholes. You made yourself fat. You ran up a huge credit card debt.
"Adulting" isn't hard, but you've failed anyway. It's no one's fault but your own.

So stop saying that being an adult is hard, and practice the following phrase: 

"I regret everything."

It's a start, at least.




Images stolen from wherever. Who cares. Sue me, you idiots.