Popeyes Peanut Butter Banana Pie -- A Review

Remember when you were a kid and you'd get that big pack of popsicles with all the different

Lies! Deception!

flavors? Remember how they were all great except for the banana ones? Do you furthermore remember how there would therefore be one banana popsicle left in the package and it became a standoff between you and your sister as to who would eat it because you were only allowed one per day and Mom wouldn't let you open the next box until the first was empty so you knew if you ate that nasty-ass banana popsicle your sister would get a good one and you wouldn't get another until tomorrow?

If you answered "no," perhaps you haven't retained the irrational hatred for artificial banana flavor into your adulthood that I have.

I'd been eating like an anorexic chipmunk for three weeks to get a little less squishy and hadn't cheated once. It was my first day back into "eat whatever I want" mode, so there I sat in the interminably long Popeyes drive-thru line to try their new chicken sandwich (WHICH THEY WERE OUT OF, GODS CURSE THEM) and "peanut butter banana pie" sounded pretty good. 

I'm not much of a dessert guy usually--especially from a fast food joint--but figured what the hell. It sounded good and the picture of actual bananas must have clouded my usually impeccable food judgement.

Long-forgotten images of banana popsicles flashed before my eyes as I took the first bite. My popsicle PTSD had been activated. Damn you, artificial banana flavoring! You are an affront to the good name of bananas everywhere! Unlike artificial watermelon flavoring (which tastes better than the fruit itself) you embarrass your namesake and taste of disappointment, plastic, and evil.

Long story short, this pie was a good idea in theory but poor in execution. All they had to do was use actual bananas instead of fake banana flavor and it would have been great. 

Fake peanut butter? Sure. Tastes fine.
Fake banana? Garbage.

Rating: 1.5

Rating system:

1 (Poor) - Holy shit, don't eat this.

2 (Mediocre) - Grievances are likely significant. Avoid in most cases.

3 (Average) - Take it or leave it and probably forget it.

4 (Good) - Has definite appeal.

5 (Great) - Any time not spent eating this will be spent thinking up excuses to eat it.